6 Tips on How to Breakup Better. In Theory.

“It’s not you it’s me,” is the classic line used when trying to let someone down softly while ending the relationship.

Is that sufficient? Probably not because it really doesn’t answer anything being asked.

No dip it’s you, Sherlock, I am the one getting broken up with!

So what would be a better way to go about ending ties with your romantic partner? I am no expert but I did a little research and think I may have found at the very least some better alternative routes to take.

1. Get in and Get out – In my little experience of being on both ends of this spectrum, it is better to make it quick. Rip off the bandaid. Say what needs to be said and then leave. Reasoning and hashing things out will only lead to more pain or even worse: A failed breakup. I have had my fair share of those and that is not fun.
2. Don’t Try This at Home (Actually please do) – Ugh. I screwed this one up in my last relationship. We had a date day planned and I ended up arriving at the coffee shop we met at and broke up with her right inside of the packed cafe. That was not smart.
3. Be Honest – This one goes without saying but it is imperative that you explicitly state the reasoning behind the breakup. If not, it can lead to stuff down the line that is unhealthy and you don’t want to have to back peddle previous statements in a situation like that. Emotions are on high, so words are not taken lightly.
4. Cut Communication After – I think this is a major step a lot of us gloss over now but it is just as important as the other tips. It doesn’t need to be permanent. I would argue that it shouldn’t be and if it was a healthy enough breakup and relationship in general communication will organically sprout back up. But for at least a while it is going to be beneficial to focus on yourself. Which is a great segway to my next point.
5. Invest in yourself – Following a relationship is the perfect time to look in the mirror and ask yourself what you need to do for yourself. Focus on that hobby you let go of, spend time with friends that you didn’t as much, commit to your family and work. Get back to being you and use those things you learned from the relationship and put that into your own trials and tribulations.
6. Wait Awhile – I think it’s safe to say that after a serious relationship it is best to just wait. Look back on the previous point. Just wait and invest in who you are. No reason to jump back into anything. And a lot of the time what happens is because people are fragile and volatile no matter which end of the breakup you’re on, it is easy to throw yourself into someone else and ignore the pent-up emotions.

I don’t claim to have all or any of the answers, but in my small experiences, this is the healthy way to go about dealing with a breakup. But when you sit down and your mind goes vacant like a small room with a window open on a Wyoming Spring day, just remember the classic line: “It’s not you, it’s me.”