Five Worst Places to Spend a Cody Valentine’s Day
Written by Kim Kelley on February 9, 2022
Many words describe Cody. Western, rustic, genuine, quaint. “Romantic” might not be one of them, but that doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t find a wonderfully romantic experience in our community. Sometimes, all that’s needed is an intimate dinner at a delicious restaurant, followed by a bottle of wine, some flowers, maybe even chocolates.
With Valentine’s Day upon us, you can create the perfect day to show how much you love your partner. It’s hard to go wrong in Cody – with some exceptions.
This list will help you avoid the five places that will result in a bad Valentine’s Day experience in Cody.***
5. The Buffalo Bill Museum at the Buffalo Bill Center of the West
This is an important distinction. The Buffalo Bill Center of the West is a fantastic place to take your valentine. Everyone in Wyoming loves firearms at the Cody Firearms Museum, and many species of birds in the Draper Museum of Natural History mate for life! So yes, take your date to the museum. Any and all of them.
Except for the Buffalo Bill Museum.
Look, William “Buffalo Bill” Cody might be the namesake of our town, a larger-than-life personality, and a great showman. What he wasn’t was a great husband. William and Louisa Cody were in constant unhappiness during their marriage, mainly because of their marriage. And being the world-renowned museum that it is, the Buffalo Bill Museum must accurately represent this.
And oh boy, does it . . .
Museuming is a great couples activity – just quench your intellectual thirst for Buffalo Bill’s history another day.
4. The “dining room” of any fast food joint
Take your pick. Wendy’s? Arby’s? Domino’s? Wait – who eats Domino’s at Domino’s?
Pick any of them. Got one? Good! Now throw that awful idea away and forget about it.
If one of your first thoughts on Valentine’s Day is “fast food,” congratulations! You have discovered a sustainable Valentine’s Day date. You will be recycling this one every year, probably with different valentines. It’s great for the environment – unless that environment is your own love life.
Luckily, COVID and a lack of workers have closed a lot of those “dining rooms” anyway. Take the energy you’d spend looking for an open one and put it towards something actually romantic, you cheapskate.
3. Old Trail Town
Okay – One. It’s closed. Nothing kills the mood like a “Closed for the Season” sign.
Two. Old Trail Town is a collection of authentic buildings from the Old West. You can live out your Western fantasies in Butch Cassidy’s cabin or pretend to rule over the community in the cabin of Cody’s first mayor. You can look at wagons in a barn too. That’s cool.
Do you know what is also authentic about Old Trail Town? No central heat. During the winter, all those outlaws and legendary Western figures were either up to shenanigans elsewhere or freezing their “legenderrieres” off. Is that the kind of experience your valentine savors? I doubt it.
Your love might be red hot. Old Trail Town is not.
2. My house.
Seriously. Don’t come over.
1. The Ranch (formerly known as the West or Ye or Monster Lake Ranch)
Courtesy DBW Realty
Ye, the artist formerly known as Kayne West, gave up on Cody last year. That’s sad enough, but you might have noticed he hasn’t been doing too well in the romance department since then.
All the tabloids say the artist is trying to aggressively get back at the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star currently dating the Saturday Night Live star. By all accounts – it’s not good.
I don’t know if the West Ranch has new owners. But if it does, they don’t want you there. Nobody wants you there, including your valentine, who will inexplicably leave you there if you take them there.
Ye especially! The last thing he wants is anyone engaging in any kind of romance on his former property. He might even repurchase the ranch just to kick you and your positive relationship off.
If you’re going to take your date to any former Kanye West property, find one in LA or Miami. At least then it’ll be warm when you are inevitably booked for trespassing.
In summary: Cherish your partner. Show them how much you love them – just not at any of these places.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
*** The content of this article does not necessarily reflect the personal experiences of the author. Any similarities to events past or present are probably more than just coincidental.
